I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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