The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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