Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
