Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
