I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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