she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
