We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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