haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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