I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
