tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
not ubering you a puppy
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
