we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
