real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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