Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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