he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
