I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
