so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
