He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
