I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
