return my video game
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
