Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Randomize
