me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Randomize
