we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
