My hand turned me down
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
