Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
