I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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