it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
