Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
