i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I think pants incapable of making pants work
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
