A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
