To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
