no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
