You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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