what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize