Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
