I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
