i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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