Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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