she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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