just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
