Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
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