He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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