hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
