okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
