Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
