the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
