Someone shit on the floor
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
