Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
