i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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