i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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