I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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