i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
