so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
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