It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
