oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
