I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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