I think my fart just growled at me.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
