i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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